1 00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:02,627 I've finally figured out the key 2 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,467 to getting everything done at medical school. 3 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,201 Do a bunch of things at once and never sleep. 4 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:11,200 Hey, Dad. Don't have a lot of time for our daily update, but here goes. 5 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:14,510 School's hard, dorm's gross, not really dating, 6 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,846 but I am having my "lady needs" tended to 7 00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:19,114 by a handsome young stallion. 8 00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:22,278 Wow, just remembered who I'm talking to. 9 00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:25,815 Sorry, Dad, but since it's out there, hot damn. 10 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:29,421 I am in the middle of a real sexual awakening right now. Hmm? 11 00:00:29,764 --> 00:00:33,791 Yeah, that's about enough for me today, too. Talk to you tomorrow. 12 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,802 Baby, what's up? It's 5:30. 13 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:38,361 I have nine thousand things to do. Go back to sleep. 14 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:42,240 Girl, once you wake up the troops, you gotta storm the beach. 15 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,776 You know what? You are actually on my to-do list. 16 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:50,943 Yeah. 17 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:55,611 The iliohypogastric and ilioinguinal nerves innervate the groin region. 18 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:58,022 God, I'm great at study-walking. 19 00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:01,051 Oh, good. Dr. Turk. 20 00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,723 I scanned those slides for your lung lecture and I e-mailed them to you. 21 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:07,222 - Did you get a chance to check them? - He's gone, Lucy. 22 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:08,693 He's gone. 23 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,704 Yesterday was Dr. Dorian's last day. 24 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,968 Dr. Turk was taking it pretty hard. 25 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,711 He done gone to Zion. 26 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:25,810 What? 27 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,385 Hey, Turk. Okay, this is why pregnancy sucks. 28 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,051 Your stupid name took my head right to "turkey," 29 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:35,028 because I have been craving the hell out of Thanksgiving food all week. 30 00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,393 This morning I actually pounded 31 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,523 a jar of cranberry sauce and some dry stuffing. 32 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:41,592 It was like a holiday, only much, much sadder. 33 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,727 You want to talk about sad? 34 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:46,331 I spent the whole morning moping around 'cause J.D. Wasn't here. 35 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:50,740 - Took me about an hour to get out of it. - Oh, he said to say he misses you. 36 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,802 - He did? - Yeah. 37 00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:58,845 It's okay, it's okay. 38 00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,480 He reacted the same way when he got your muffin basket. 39 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,149 Look, Turk, I know that you're hurting, 40 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,784 but you're gonna find someone else here to ride the eagle with. 41 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,488 Elliot, you don't ride the eagle. You eagle. 42 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:11,589 You choose toe or thumb. You join Fight Club with Pillows. 43 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,691 You and J.D. Had a pillow-fight club? 44 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,065 First rule of Pillow Fight Club, you don't talk... 45 00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,467 - Yeah, I get it. - No, I don't think you do. 46 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,495 Elliot. Elliot, please don't say anything. 47 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:21,770 Hey, Turkleton. I know what it's like to lose a friend. 48 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,369 I lost my good buddy Steve back in Korea. 49 00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:27,073 - Sir, that was a horrible war. - Yes, it was, 50 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:30,641 but I'm talking about a family trip we took to the '88 Olympics. 51 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:35,212 I suggested a wife-swap to Steve, and things got pretty weird. 52 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,789 Yes, it was an amazing night, 53 00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:41,186 but was it worth it to lose a good friend over? 54 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,326 Probably. 55 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,130 Great effort in the sack last night. 56 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,637 Just remember, when I say, "I hate you, don't touch me," 57 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,538 - it's not about you, it's about all men. - Cool. 58 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,599 - Crap, I'm gonna be late for class. - Drew, wait. 59 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:59,272 There's something I have to tell you. I'm late, too. 60 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,973 - You missed your... - Yeah. 61 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,318 Oh, my God. 62 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,583 I'm kidding. Your face looks so dumb right now. 63 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,093 - Why would you do that to me? - I'm bored. 64 00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:16,358 You're lucky I vibe on crazy. 65 00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:20,793 - I hate you, don't touch me. - Fair enough. 66 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,996 Now then, today we will be looking at patients with pancreatic disorders. 67 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,406 - Hey, Drew. Glad you could make it. - Sorry I'm late. 68 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,140 You should be sorry, as I'm giving all of you murderers 69 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,807 the honor of shadowing me today. 70 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:38,477 There is no penalty forthcoming, however, as it is an optional exercise. 71 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,215 Optional? Hey, man, I gotta cruise. 72 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:45,555 - Bunch of crap to do. You cool here? - No, just a second. You're leaving? 73 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,060 Well, what the heck am I supposed to do? 74 00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:50,063 How will the hospital get by, for God's sake? 75 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:55,761 Shut it down. Everyone, shut it down. It's over. Stop saving lives. 76 00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,768 Man, you crack me up. 77 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,205 But for reals, I gotta split. 78 00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:05,735 I met this old cat upstairs who's got really painful glaucoma. 79 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:09,215 Translation, crazy-ass government product. 80 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,276 Yo, we'll probably hang out, maybe watch some Benson reruns. 81 00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:15,720 Know what I'm saying? Yeah, you know what I'm saying. 82 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,822 Number One, remind me again why I can't kill him. 83 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,796 - His daddy built the hospital. - Fair enough. 84 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,856 All of you remain where you are for a moment. 85 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:28,367 I'm going to punch through a wall. 86 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:33,573 Maureen, I e-mailed you your bachelorette pictures this morning. 87 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,074 I would have put them in the regular mail, 88 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,441 but I think we could get arrested. 89 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,378 Okay, class, I want to thank Miss Bennett 90 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,472 for her help on this presentation. 91 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:45,076 - Thank you. Thanks. - Not really a stand-and-wave moment. 92 00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:46,310 Here we go. 93 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,082 What do you mean, they're not the bachelorette photos? 94 00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:52,422 All right, people, we'll start with advanced mesothelioma of the lung. 95 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,656 - Now, that's not a lung. - Dr. Turk, please... 96 00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:01,464 No, Lucy, I think this could be what we call a teachable moment. 97 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,994 Next up should be pulmonary fibrosis. 98 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,538 That ain't pulmonary fibrosis. 99 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:11,305 That's a woman nibbling on some panties. 100 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,981 Looks like the night took a dark turn, people. 101 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,781 Let's see what's next. Oh, she's back! Back in action! 102 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:25,416 You can't do stuff like that to strangers, woman. It's not right! 103 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:28,428 - I know. I'm sorry. - He's a human being, Lucy. 104 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:32,694 He got nine bucks, okay? I made it rain. Move on. 105 00:05:57,386 --> 00:05:58,580 You all right? 106 00:05:58,621 --> 00:06:02,113 It was a rough surgery. I don't think the guy's gonna make it. 107 00:06:02,158 --> 00:06:03,921 - That stinks. - Yeah. 108 00:06:04,293 --> 00:06:06,659 This is when I really miss J.D., you know? 109 00:06:06,696 --> 00:06:10,427 At work. He'd see me like this and then try and pick me up, 110 00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:12,725 and then I'd point to that doctor over there and I'd say, 111 00:06:12,768 --> 00:06:15,965 "Who does that look like to you?" And he'd say... 112 00:06:16,105 --> 00:06:17,197 Who? 113 00:06:17,573 --> 00:06:20,167 A Japanese Laura Dern. How do you not see that? 114 00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:23,042 I can't believe you get to see J.D. Naked. 115 00:06:23,512 --> 00:06:26,845 - That was weird. - It's okay. That's okay, Turk. 116 00:06:27,717 --> 00:06:29,651 I can do this with you. 117 00:06:29,986 --> 00:06:33,251 See that nurse over there? She looks like a Mexican Carrie Scott. 118 00:06:33,289 --> 00:06:35,519 - Who? - Childhood friend. 119 00:06:36,292 --> 00:06:39,591 Yeah, she joined a cult and disappeared when she was 16. 120 00:06:39,629 --> 00:06:42,496 Oh, my God, that could actually be her if she got really tan. 121 00:06:42,531 --> 00:06:44,362 Carrie? Carrie Scott? 122 00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:47,561 Nope, not her. Police are right. She's probably dead. 123 00:06:47,603 --> 00:06:50,197 - What were we talking about? - I don't remember. 124 00:06:50,406 --> 00:06:52,636 This morning was such a disaster. 125 00:06:52,675 --> 00:06:55,439 Maybe my problem is that I've been trying to do too much. 126 00:06:55,678 --> 00:06:58,010 I've decided to do some optional shadowing of Dr. Cox 127 00:06:58,047 --> 00:06:59,207 to get my mind off it. 128 00:06:59,248 --> 00:07:04,379 - Dr. Cox, may I ask you a question? - Do you see that shadow over there? 129 00:07:04,420 --> 00:07:06,911 Do you see how it's just quietly standing against the wall 130 00:07:06,956 --> 00:07:08,423 not asking inane questions 131 00:07:08,457 --> 00:07:12,188 that make me crave the sweet taste of a hollow-point bullet? 132 00:07:12,228 --> 00:07:14,662 That's you. A dumb, quiet shadow. 133 00:07:15,698 --> 00:07:18,599 - Act like it. - You know why you should ignore him? 134 00:07:18,634 --> 00:07:21,569 Let's just forget for a second that you sprained your wrist punching a wall. 135 00:07:21,604 --> 00:07:25,506 - I can explain that. I hate someone. - Miss Simmons' platelets are low, 136 00:07:25,541 --> 00:07:27,372 so I don't really think heparin's a good idea. 137 00:07:27,410 --> 00:07:30,504 I'd never met Dr. Reid, but she seemed incredible. 138 00:07:30,546 --> 00:07:32,446 She went toe-to-toe with Dr. Cox. 139 00:07:32,481 --> 00:07:35,348 Yeah, but the bottom line is, I admitted her, so she's mine. 140 00:07:35,384 --> 00:07:38,012 - Fair enough. She's yours. - Thank you. 141 00:07:38,955 --> 00:07:40,047 Hmm. 142 00:07:40,089 --> 00:07:42,353 She was amazing with her patients. 143 00:07:42,391 --> 00:07:44,985 You're gonna be just fine, Kate. We'll get the blood work back 144 00:07:45,027 --> 00:07:47,359 and then run a simple test called a bronchoscopy. 145 00:07:47,396 --> 00:07:49,091 She was a loving wife. 146 00:07:49,131 --> 00:07:53,659 J.D., what's wrong? Yes, sweetie. Turk misses you, too. 147 00:07:55,304 --> 00:07:57,932 What? I don't... He's wearing scrubs. 148 00:07:59,275 --> 00:08:00,708 His green ones. 149 00:08:00,743 --> 00:08:03,371 And she did it all while being pregnant. 150 00:08:03,412 --> 00:08:06,074 Can you hand me that bedpan? Thank you. 151 00:08:08,084 --> 00:08:10,314 Oh, yeah. Much better. Take that. 152 00:08:10,419 --> 00:08:12,944 Who are you? And why are you following me around and staring at me? 153 00:08:12,989 --> 00:08:14,616 I'm Lucy. I'm a med student. 154 00:08:14,657 --> 00:08:16,591 Be cool, Lucy. Be cool. 155 00:08:17,059 --> 00:08:20,358 And I just have to say, you have the spirit of a noble warrior, 156 00:08:20,396 --> 00:08:22,728 which is not to say that you're not incredibly feminine, 157 00:08:22,765 --> 00:08:24,357 because clearly you are. 158 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,595 I mean, you're, like, stupid fricking pregnant, 159 00:08:26,635 --> 00:08:28,432 but also, so skinny. 160 00:08:28,471 --> 00:08:32,202 I mean, come on, you're like a snake that ate a tiny horse. 161 00:08:34,543 --> 00:08:37,671 My point is, I'd like to get to know you better. 162 00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:39,811 - Oh, so, you're crazy. - Oh, yeah. 163 00:08:39,849 --> 00:08:42,181 Oh, that's cool. I'm Dr. Elliot Reid. See you later. 164 00:08:42,218 --> 00:08:44,778 Who's got food? Mama needs a refill. I'm dying here. 165 00:08:45,054 --> 00:08:48,251 All right, class, we're looking for evidence of disease or abnormality. 166 00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:51,487 Hey, Dr. T, I heard one time they opened up a dude's stomach 167 00:08:51,527 --> 00:08:53,017 and there was a finger inside of it. 168 00:08:53,062 --> 00:08:56,623 I mean, think about it. You're in a lab, you're a little buzzed, everything's cool, 169 00:08:56,665 --> 00:08:58,792 then all of a sudden your dead guy's flipping you the bird. 170 00:08:58,834 --> 00:09:01,598 With another dude's finger! I mean, what? 171 00:09:02,772 --> 00:09:05,240 Denise, could you please handle this? I've had a really bad day. 172 00:09:05,274 --> 00:09:06,707 I'd love to. 173 00:09:07,343 --> 00:09:11,803 So, you and me, we're gonna have a stupid jar. 174 00:09:12,548 --> 00:09:16,507 Every time you say something stupid, we're gonna put a nickel in that jar, 175 00:09:16,552 --> 00:09:18,679 and when that jar gets nice and full, 176 00:09:18,721 --> 00:09:22,179 we're gonna take it and beat you with it, okay? 177 00:09:23,192 --> 00:09:26,525 Dude, how much fun is she in the sack? 178 00:09:26,562 --> 00:09:30,259 More scary than fun. Look, Cole, you gotta dial it down a bit. 179 00:09:30,299 --> 00:09:31,732 The school newspaper's coming out next week 180 00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:32,995 and they're publishing class rankings. 181 00:09:33,035 --> 00:09:34,502 I thought you were already number one. 182 00:09:34,537 --> 00:09:36,334 That's just with Dr. Cox. 183 00:09:36,372 --> 00:09:38,863 These are the real rankings, and everything counts. 184 00:09:38,908 --> 00:09:41,672 Grades, participation, grunt work. Everyone sees it. 185 00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:42,768 - Really? - Yeah. 186 00:09:42,812 --> 00:09:43,836 Huh. 187 00:09:44,647 --> 00:09:47,810 Hey, it's all good. I don't mind if people know my rank, okay? 188 00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:49,147 It's like going to the gym. 189 00:09:49,185 --> 00:09:51,983 When you blast it as hard as I do, you want people to notice. 190 00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:53,784 - How much you think I bench? - I don't know, like... 191 00:09:53,823 --> 00:09:57,281 I don't bench. I do high-intensity reps. I'm toned as balls. 192 00:09:57,726 --> 00:10:01,184 What's with the lame writing on your ass? Is that, like, a surgeon thing? 193 00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:04,757 No, it's for pork-chop day. An old tradition for me and J.D. 194 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:08,099 We made special pants. His said "PORK" on the back. 195 00:10:08,337 --> 00:10:11,773 That's actually why he had that little sexual-harassment thingy. 196 00:10:11,807 --> 00:10:13,274 There's only one left, do you mind? 197 00:10:13,309 --> 00:10:15,402 No, that's all you. I don't even like pork chops. 198 00:10:15,444 --> 00:10:17,241 - Hey, look, there's J.D. - Where? 199 00:10:17,279 --> 00:10:21,045 - Where? Did he wear his pants? - Sucker. I lied. I love them. 200 00:10:23,252 --> 00:10:25,720 You're a pork-chop Keyser Soze. 201 00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:29,548 - Can you believe that? - Oh, I do. The chops are awesome. 202 00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:33,528 I pounded down 11 of them already, gristle and all, and I'm a vegetarian, 203 00:10:33,562 --> 00:10:36,258 - but the baby, carnivore. - Hey, Turk. 204 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,990 Mmm. 205 00:10:39,034 --> 00:10:41,195 It's like Christmas morning. 206 00:10:42,438 --> 00:10:44,269 You want to help me get her back? This is what we do. 207 00:10:44,306 --> 00:10:46,831 We fill her car up with pork chops, and when she opens the door, 208 00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:48,844 the pork chops will slide all over the place, 209 00:10:48,878 --> 00:10:50,778 and she'll have to dig a little seat. 210 00:10:50,813 --> 00:10:53,407 I'm talking about a major inconvenience. 211 00:10:53,449 --> 00:10:54,473 Okay, you're losing it. 212 00:10:54,517 --> 00:10:56,576 We need to get you a new work buddy, like, today. 213 00:10:56,619 --> 00:10:59,850 Until then, you gotta just chillax, my brother. 214 00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:03,124 Okay, I cannot pull off "my brother," can I? 215 00:11:03,159 --> 00:11:05,719 - No. - At least I nailed "chillax." 216 00:11:05,861 --> 00:11:07,453 No, you didn't. 217 00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:09,353 Dr. Reid, you're so inspiring. 218 00:11:09,398 --> 00:11:11,832 Oh, stop. Go on. 219 00:11:11,934 --> 00:11:15,734 You're totally the kind of doctor I want to be when I get super-old. 220 00:11:15,771 --> 00:11:18,569 Compliment took a bit of a left turn there. 221 00:11:18,607 --> 00:11:21,007 I just don't think you realize how awesome it is for me 222 00:11:21,043 --> 00:11:23,238 to see a woman actually doing it, you know? 223 00:11:23,279 --> 00:11:25,770 You're a great doctor and you've got your life together. 224 00:11:25,814 --> 00:11:29,045 You're handling both. Me, I've got nine texts this minute. 225 00:11:29,084 --> 00:11:32,576 My boyfriend needs me, my dad wants his daily phone call, 226 00:11:32,621 --> 00:11:35,613 my sister Maureen is freaking out about her bachelorette party. 227 00:11:35,658 --> 00:11:37,558 She has to have sex with her fiance for the first time 228 00:11:37,593 --> 00:11:39,584 in case the stripper got her pregnant. Long story. 229 00:11:39,628 --> 00:11:40,686 Oh, sure, sure. 230 00:11:40,729 --> 00:11:42,720 Plus, with all the studying and the schoolwork... 231 00:11:42,765 --> 00:11:46,633 Lucy, you can do it. You just need to learn how to prioritize. 232 00:11:47,036 --> 00:11:49,402 Uh-oh. I've been so emotional lately, 233 00:11:49,438 --> 00:11:54,774 and I just pictured you as my little sister and I'm starting to lose it. 234 00:11:54,810 --> 00:11:56,277 Quick, say something to remind me how crazy you are. 235 00:11:56,312 --> 00:11:57,472 Um... 236 00:11:57,513 --> 00:12:01,074 I ran out of underwear today, so I wore my bathing suit. 237 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,445 Huh. Thanks. All better. 238 00:12:04,687 --> 00:12:07,383 Hey, so you and me got off on the wrong foot. 239 00:12:07,423 --> 00:12:08,754 Nobody's fault. 240 00:12:08,791 --> 00:12:10,418 I mean, you put two alpha dogs in a cage 241 00:12:10,459 --> 00:12:12,154 and there's bound to be some barking, right? 242 00:12:13,329 --> 00:12:18,028 - Yes, yes. We are exactly alike, indeed. - See, you get it. 243 00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:20,427 Anyway, I just want to talk about my ranking 244 00:12:20,469 --> 00:12:23,905 - before the newsletter comes out. - Spoiler alert. You're last. 245 00:12:23,939 --> 00:12:25,804 Hey, Dr. Cox, please. 246 00:12:25,841 --> 00:12:29,470 If my dad reads I'm at the bottom, he might lose it and cut me off. 247 00:12:29,511 --> 00:12:32,002 Okay, I know I don't act like it sometimes, 248 00:12:32,047 --> 00:12:33,537 but I really do want to be a doctor. 249 00:12:33,582 --> 00:12:36,517 Son, that is the first honest thing you've ever said to me. 250 00:12:36,552 --> 00:12:39,248 Yeah, you know what it's like to have a miserable judgmental bastard 251 00:12:39,288 --> 00:12:42,189 - for a dad? - No, my father was so super-sweet 252 00:12:42,224 --> 00:12:45,387 that my entire childhood was an endless parade of lollipops and hugs. 253 00:12:45,427 --> 00:12:47,019 Of course I do. 254 00:12:47,263 --> 00:12:49,788 Look, I can't just move you up in the rankings based on nothing. 255 00:12:49,832 --> 00:12:51,891 So for the next week, if I need something done, 256 00:12:51,934 --> 00:12:54,994 - I'll go to you. We'll call it "extra-credit." - Great. 257 00:12:55,037 --> 00:12:56,561 In fact, go to Bed 12. 258 00:12:56,605 --> 00:12:58,766 There's a very, very large sick man there 259 00:12:58,807 --> 00:13:01,332 who needs an alcohol bath all over his entire body. 260 00:13:01,377 --> 00:13:03,641 Thank you for the opportunity. 261 00:13:04,613 --> 00:13:06,672 So, did he buy the whole newsletter-rankings nonsense? 262 00:13:06,715 --> 00:13:09,707 Like an elderly shut-in talking to a telemarketer. 263 00:13:09,752 --> 00:13:11,413 - Outstanding. - It is. 264 00:13:11,754 --> 00:13:13,517 Thank you for meeting me. 265 00:13:13,555 --> 00:13:15,386 So, basically, I'm looking for a work friend. 266 00:13:15,424 --> 00:13:17,949 Someone to pal around with at the hospital. 267 00:13:17,993 --> 00:13:20,962 I am so ready to take this relationship to the next level. 268 00:13:20,996 --> 00:13:24,227 You know, mentally, physically and emotionally. 269 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,229 I'm sorry. Did you just say "physically"? 270 00:13:26,435 --> 00:13:28,403 Weird-five. Get there. 271 00:13:30,105 --> 00:13:33,131 If you were on a desert island, what three CDs would you bring? 272 00:13:33,175 --> 00:13:36,906 Motorhead, Metallica, and the original cast recording of Wicked. 273 00:13:36,945 --> 00:13:40,073 I stage-managed the Midwestern leg of the '05 tour. 274 00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:42,845 And yes, Kristin Chenoweth is a delight. 275 00:13:43,886 --> 00:13:44,910 Why am I here, again? 276 00:13:45,387 --> 00:13:47,548 - How's the food? - This soup is amazing. 277 00:13:47,589 --> 00:13:49,147 Shut up, Frank. 278 00:13:49,425 --> 00:13:51,825 We are lucky enough to dine with an educated physician, 279 00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:53,225 and you order soup? 280 00:13:53,262 --> 00:13:57,460 I'm sorry, Dr. Turk. I'll send him back for a sandwich, something more fitting. 281 00:13:57,499 --> 00:13:58,989 Talking about soup. 282 00:14:02,371 --> 00:14:03,633 How you doing, Kate? 283 00:14:03,672 --> 00:14:06,698 I'm a little nervous. Is a bronchoscopy gonna hurt? 284 00:14:06,742 --> 00:14:08,107 There'll be a little discomfort afterwards, 285 00:14:08,143 --> 00:14:09,303 but you'll be under for the procedure, 286 00:14:09,345 --> 00:14:10,676 and the whole thing will be over in an hour. 287 00:14:10,713 --> 00:14:14,114 - And you'll be here when I wake up? - Yeah, of course. 288 00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:16,913 Isn't she the best? 289 00:14:17,353 --> 00:14:19,787 I think we're all searching for something. 290 00:14:19,822 --> 00:14:22,882 Sometimes it's a replacement for the irreplaceable... 291 00:14:22,925 --> 00:14:25,291 Look, Gandhi, if you expect me to go all the way, 292 00:14:25,327 --> 00:14:28,023 you gotta step up your game a little bit here, pal. 293 00:14:28,063 --> 00:14:31,760 Maybe take me out to a nice dinner, introduce me to some of your friends. 294 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,427 You're not taking this seriously, are you? 295 00:14:33,469 --> 00:14:35,403 Not even a little. And not just because 296 00:14:35,437 --> 00:14:38,270 I want nothing to do with Dorian's sloppy seconds. 297 00:14:38,307 --> 00:14:39,797 Work sucks. 298 00:14:40,609 --> 00:14:42,770 You, however, have been lucky enough to have worked 299 00:14:42,811 --> 00:14:44,745 with your very best friend for eight years. 300 00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:47,340 That will never, ever happen again. 301 00:14:49,284 --> 00:14:52,981 Other times, it's just a hard-to-reach spot on a fat guy's back. 302 00:14:54,156 --> 00:14:56,624 - Oh, no. - Dude, a little help. 303 00:14:57,159 --> 00:14:59,389 - Oh, isn't it terrible? - Awful. 304 00:14:59,461 --> 00:15:00,587 Hmm. 305 00:15:02,731 --> 00:15:04,995 So, Miss Simmons is gonna wake up in a while. 306 00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:06,864 Can I hang out with you while you sit with her? 307 00:15:06,902 --> 00:15:09,871 Lucky for me, I found what I was looking for. 308 00:15:10,072 --> 00:15:12,006 Please! I'm going home. 309 00:15:12,341 --> 00:15:15,276 And she was a lying, selfish jerk. 310 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,576 Morning, sunshine. You look rested. 311 00:15:25,616 --> 00:15:28,881 Wow, and making time for the paper, too. That must be nice. 312 00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:32,753 - Later, you munch. - Did she just call me a buttmunch? 313 00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:34,218 Well, she didn't use the word "butt," 314 00:15:34,258 --> 00:15:35,953 though I can't think of any other prominent type of munch, 315 00:15:35,993 --> 00:15:37,893 so yeah, I think she called you a buttmunch. 316 00:15:37,928 --> 00:15:39,759 I'm Drew, by the way. 317 00:15:40,364 --> 00:15:42,093 So, I said to the lady, 318 00:15:42,132 --> 00:15:44,657 "Where can a well-hung marine buy a pair of shoes around here?" 319 00:15:46,170 --> 00:15:47,899 Don't even know what that is. 320 00:15:49,106 --> 00:15:52,564 - Turkleton, those days are gone. - Dr. Kelso, really? 321 00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:55,604 Please tell me you're not another one of Dr. Turk's gentleman suitors. 322 00:15:55,846 --> 00:15:57,040 I am indeed. 323 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,105 I think it will be great to have a black friend 324 00:15:59,149 --> 00:16:02,414 to help me out with the sisters. Get my swirl on. 325 00:16:02,453 --> 00:16:04,648 That's what I'm talking about. Mmm. 326 00:16:04,688 --> 00:16:07,248 Holy crap. That totally looks like a Korean Helen Hunt. 327 00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:09,282 No, that's a Japanese Laura Dern. 328 00:16:09,326 --> 00:16:11,954 No, it's not. I'm gonna get my picture with her. 329 00:16:11,995 --> 00:16:13,326 Oh, yeah? Yeah? Well... 330 00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:16,196 Well, tell her I said I loved her in Japanese Jurassic Park. 331 00:16:16,233 --> 00:16:18,701 Hey. You came here with me. Why are you talking to her? 332 00:16:18,735 --> 00:16:21,260 - No, I'm still here with you! - What the hell am I doing? 333 00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:24,035 I always end up in relationships like this. 334 00:16:24,074 --> 00:16:26,838 For once, get out with some dignity, Bob. 335 00:16:26,877 --> 00:16:28,367 Don't ever call me again. 336 00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,104 No, it's okay. 337 00:16:32,816 --> 00:16:34,875 Hey, crazy swimsuit girl. What are you doing? 338 00:16:34,918 --> 00:16:38,410 Volunteering at physical therapy. I'm stretching Mr. Biegel's hamstring. 339 00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:39,717 Stop. He'll be fine. 340 00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:42,725 - How do you know? - He works in the gift shop. 341 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,324 - You get what you can get. - Please leave. 342 00:16:48,765 --> 00:16:51,791 - That baby isn't mine, is he? - Get out, Kevin. 343 00:16:51,935 --> 00:16:54,495 Question. When you called me "Munch," 344 00:16:54,605 --> 00:16:56,937 were you referring to Richard Belzer's beloved detective character 345 00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,100 first established on Homicide, 346 00:16:58,141 --> 00:17:00,166 but best known SVU? 347 00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:02,303 Crime procedurals soothe the baby. 348 00:17:02,346 --> 00:17:04,507 Luckily, there is a different one on every nine seconds. 349 00:17:04,548 --> 00:17:06,948 You walked out on Miss Simmons when she needed you. 350 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,281 I had to stay with her all night. 351 00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:11,151 - She freaked out. - She did? 352 00:17:11,188 --> 00:17:12,519 Can I get you anything? 353 00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:19,353 Yeah, it got real in there. Big time. 354 00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:22,954 Plus, I got no sleep, and I had so much to do this morning 355 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,436 I had to do my dad phone call while having sex with my boyfriend. 356 00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:27,960 So many things wrong with that, 357 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:31,236 not the least of which is the fact that it's the most turned on I've ever been. 358 00:17:31,275 --> 00:17:32,833 - No filter, huh? - Nope. 359 00:17:32,876 --> 00:17:35,572 Lucy, there was a hospital full of residents and nurses here last night. 360 00:17:35,612 --> 00:17:37,307 If there was a problem with Miss Simmons, 361 00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,282 - I would have been called. - Stop making excuses. 362 00:17:40,317 --> 00:17:41,841 You know, I thought you could do everything, 363 00:17:41,885 --> 00:17:43,250 but I guess it just seems that way, 364 00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:46,154 because you half-ass it with your patients. 365 00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:48,148 Come with me. 366 00:17:48,292 --> 00:17:51,284 Hey, Dr. Cox. I just finished cleaning that guy's foot ulcer. 367 00:17:51,328 --> 00:17:54,195 - How'd that go for you? - Not gonna lie. I yakked on his face. 368 00:17:54,231 --> 00:17:56,597 Otherwise, crushed it. What else can I do? 369 00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:59,534 Actually, Drew here was about to assist me with something. 370 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:01,060 Yeah, yeah. No, I got it. What's the job? 371 00:18:01,104 --> 00:18:03,436 - Sorry, Charlie. This is my deal. - No, you know what, Drew? 372 00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:05,703 Cole's been really stepping up, showing some promise. 373 00:18:05,742 --> 00:18:08,176 I'm gonna let him do this one. Room 32. 374 00:18:08,211 --> 00:18:11,112 I want you to do a manual rectal disimpactation. 375 00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:15,915 Mr. Hanson is very constipated. You will fix that. 376 00:18:17,454 --> 00:18:19,115 With your hands. 377 00:18:19,423 --> 00:18:20,856 Oh, lucky. 378 00:18:20,924 --> 00:18:22,357 Yay! 379 00:18:25,462 --> 00:18:28,488 - "Sorry, Charlie"? - I thought I was brilliant. 380 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:36,266 Mr. Valdez is gonna need another surgery, huh? 381 00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:37,399 Yep. 382 00:18:38,209 --> 00:18:40,404 I don't think he's gonna be able to take it. 383 00:18:40,444 --> 00:18:42,207 That totally sucks. 384 00:18:44,882 --> 00:18:46,110 Um... 385 00:18:46,617 --> 00:18:50,314 If you want, today is Eileen in Radiology's birthday 386 00:18:50,354 --> 00:18:53,152 and I was gonna go up there and just steal her cake. 387 00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:55,055 I hate Eileen in Radiology. 388 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:58,289 I'm definitely in. She's so nice it makes me want to cut her throat. 389 00:18:58,329 --> 00:18:59,626 I know, right? 390 00:18:59,663 --> 00:19:01,858 I was thinking, after that, maybe we could stop on three 391 00:19:01,899 --> 00:19:03,230 and then I'd show you the nurse that looks like... 392 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:06,202 - Looks like a Nigerian Kelly Ripa? - Thank you! 393 00:19:07,538 --> 00:19:09,665 Lucy, Miss Simmons needs a new IV placed. 394 00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:12,437 What say you take a shot at it? 395 00:19:12,910 --> 00:19:16,243 Yeah, I, um... 396 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,180 Hands are a little shaky there. 397 00:19:18,215 --> 00:19:21,582 I'm jacked up on 17 cups of coffee because I haven't slept a lot lately, 398 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:24,452 and my head is sweating. But I'll be fine. 399 00:19:26,056 --> 00:19:28,388 Don't you think you should disinfect the area? 400 00:19:28,425 --> 00:19:30,450 Good catch, Kate. What do you think, Lucy? 401 00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:32,792 Should we wipe away all the deadly bacteria, 402 00:19:32,830 --> 00:19:35,196 or just do this Civil War style? 403 00:19:38,335 --> 00:19:41,793 - I really shouldn't be doing this. - No, you shouldn't. 404 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,607 One second. 405 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:49,468 Once again, a giant swing and a miss for Lucy Bennett. 406 00:19:49,513 --> 00:19:50,912 What's wrong with me? 407 00:19:50,948 --> 00:19:53,576 Lucy, when I got pregnant, I learned two things. 408 00:19:53,617 --> 00:19:57,815 Ketchup on cereal is delicious, and sometimes you have to be selfish. 409 00:19:57,855 --> 00:19:59,345 That's why I went home last night. 410 00:19:59,390 --> 00:20:03,087 I mean, finally I have something inside me forcing me to take care of myself. 411 00:20:03,127 --> 00:20:04,958 See, I'm like you. I probably ended up in medicine 412 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,589 because I want to try to take care of the whole world. 413 00:20:07,631 --> 00:20:09,929 But here's the crazy thing about being a doctor. 414 00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:12,492 You can't even take care of one single patient 415 00:20:12,536 --> 00:20:15,403 unless you learn how to take care of yourself first. 416 00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:17,066 So tell your dad you can't talk every day, 417 00:20:17,107 --> 00:20:19,132 have your boyfriend grab a cold shower every once in a while, 418 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,905 stop doing slides for Dr. Turk 419 00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,742 and let your sister mess up her own life. 420 00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:26,807 That's the key to being a good doctor. You first, then the world. 421 00:20:27,451 --> 00:20:29,783 Now go home and get some sleep. 422 00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:35,525 I guess there are lots of ways to get by in a hospital. 423 00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:37,322 You can try to just suck it up, 424 00:20:38,495 --> 00:20:41,020 Or find someone to make the day-to-day hell bearable. 425 00:20:41,098 --> 00:20:43,362 - Mmm. - Mmm. Get the middle. 426 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:48,334 For me, it was just about learning who comes first. 427 00:20:59,950 --> 00:21:02,510 Aw, schtupes! 428 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,613 Old King Cole is in the house! 429 00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,722 Hey, did everybody see the newsletter? Check it out. 430 00:21:08,759 --> 00:21:12,126 Number one, Aaronson comma Cole. 431 00:21:12,763 --> 00:21:15,493 Isn't that just an alphabetized list of all the students in our class? 432 00:21:15,532 --> 00:21:16,590 Yep. 433 00:21:16,634 --> 00:21:18,761 - You gonna tell him? - I haven't decided. 434 00:21:18,802 --> 00:21:23,501 Oh, too bad, Bennett comma Lucy. What happened, Suffin? 435 00:21:23,540 --> 00:21:25,940 You're, like, two-thirds of the way down this thing. That is rough. 436 00:21:25,976 --> 00:21:27,409 I don't know. But congratulations. 437 00:21:27,444 --> 00:21:30,936 Yup, old Double- "A" Aaronson nailed it again. 438 00:21:30,981 --> 00:21:32,778 You suck, Zimmerman!